As Is
by kuramagal
Summary: Kakashi decides the time has come to have a little talk with one of his student’s about a certain teammate.


As Is

Kakashi decides the time has come to have a little talk with one of his student's about a certain teammate.

He really felt fine. Or at least that's what he was what he trying to convince his body. But for some strange, unexplainable reason his body seemed to disagree and it told him so when he tried to gain his footing. He'd suddenly found his butt, which had previously been perched on the edge on of the bed, firmly and deliberately planted on the ground.

Kakashi looked up from the ground still slightly dazed. He was quite thankful that, first it was late at night and second, no one was around to see his little act of gracefulness. Especially not Guy, Kakashi suppressed a shudder. No, he would have liked to avoid the other jonin's reaction to this, thank you very much. With that thought still in mind, Kakashi reached out a hand and heaved his involuntarily shaking body upright.

When he did the room spun in a way that Kakashi was sure no stationary object should and abruptly planted itself below his feet. He blinked, trying to clear his vision. Who knew he'd still be this weak? He gave his quivering legs a dark glare, as though this was entirely their fault. Perhaps he should be so hard on them; after all it wasn't their fault at all. No, he amended, the blame of this rested solely on the elder brother of his brooding, Sharingan-wielding student.

Itachi had quite literally and deliberately beat the shit out of him. Hands down and Kakashi admitted to it. To be honest, Kakashi knew going into the fight that it was a futile battle. He was no match for Sasuke's brother, even if he didn't want to admit it. For god sake, the boy had been the leader of the ANBU black ops at the age of fourteen! Man, Kakashi amended. If there was one thing he was sure of, Itachi was no longer a boy.

Kakashi sighed once more. His legs had finally stopped shaking underneath him. Testing himself slightly, he tentatively shifted his weight. When he found that his leg didn't buckle underneath him, he decided to take a step. As he should have known, this move proved to be one of the stupider things he done. He fell once more against his bed, and in the process managed to knock over the two picture frames that rested above his bed.

Kakashi bit back a curse at his body's weakness and his own stupidity. Naturally his body would disobey him. Kakashi sighed, and looked down. It was then that he noticed the two pictures that had fallen side by side.

It was uncanny, he finally decided as he looked at the two photos that looked so very alike. Three young, happy go lucky teens – two boys and a girl, with their sensei standing behind them. Funny enough, both pictures contained an Uchiha. From experience Kakashi knew that, although Sasuke and Obito possessed the same blood and kekkei genkai, they were very different.

Obito had a certain spark, a love a life and those around him that made other's like him. He was compassionate, a protector and a giver. Kakashi would know. Even at his end, Obito had remembered and given Kakashi a gift that he saved his life countless times, the Sharingan. It gave Kakashi chills just to remember it, to remember Obito's last moments as Rin had carved his Sharingan eye out and…

Kakashi stopped himself. This would get him no where, remembering like this. He sighed. It was almost comical how different both Uchiha's were. For one, Sasuke was darker and far more brooding that Obito ever was. He had an inner drive for success and a hatred of failure that Kakashi never saw in his old teammate. Besides all of this, Sasuke had one more thing that Obito never ever had. And that was a certain air about him that made all the girls go absolutely crazy.

Obito certainly didn't have that, Kakashi thought with a laugh as he remembered his old teammate. No, he amended. He, Kakashi, somehow had that unfortunate pleasure of receiving that trait. "And it got me her," he unknowingly said aloud.

His eyes drifted to each of the females in the picture and marveled how alike they were. Sakura and Rin both had unrivaled chakra control that belied their age. Rin had been a medical-nin, the job that Kakashi was certain Sakura would one day hold. He still couldn't get over how similar his team was to the team he'd been on. Or how these two photographs, though they possessed different people and eras, were so a like. As soon as he saw his team he felt like he'd walked into a time warp with himself as the Fourth Hokage, Sakura as Rin and Sasuke as he had been. In fact the only difference he found in the two teams was Naruto.

Naruto did have many traits that made him like Obito, but for all those similarities there were many differences. While Obito had had the ability and equipment for success, namely the Sharingan, Naruto had worked his ass off for most of his life to get to the point he was now. Though, Kakashi amended, he did have the Nine-Tailed Fox residing inside him, but Naruto had only just learned to tap into that power source. For his past years all of Naruto's ability had come from sweat, blood and hard work.

No the real similarities were between Sakura and Rin, and Sasuke and himself. As clear as day he could see Rin's face, the eagerness in it as she had seen who was on her team, namely him. It was easy for him to see. After all, he saw it everyday on Sakura's face. Each and everytime she saw Sasuke, her face lit up and glowed eagerly. It was frightening how alike she was to Rin, and the more time he spent with her the more he realized how cruel he'd truly been to Rin.

Sasuke, for all his idiosyncrasies, did try to be patient with her. Kakashi had to commend him for that. Even so his dark-haired student still had no way of dealing with her. Sasuke like him, felt betrayed by relationships, that they were only something that would get in the way. Like he's father suicide had affected him, so too did Itachi's betrayal and slaying of his family.

Kakashi shook his head. He could remember getting drunk one night years ago, when he'd first been inducted as a jonin. Naturally the one who got him drunk was Guy, who'd proposed they'd have a drinking contest to see who was the strongest. Fifteen shots later, they'd both been so drunk that neither of them had cared anymore. It was then that Guy had, in his drunken stupor, asked him an interested question.

"_Eh? Kakashi do you have any … re-grets?_"

Kakashi had almost laughed. The question as well as Guy's horrible tolerance for liquor amused him. Regrets? Why would he have any regrets? His slightly inebriated mind asked. It was then in his drunken stupidity that a face swam into his vision. A familiar and haunting face. Suddenly the question wasn't funny anymore. Suddenly, Kakashi felt threatened and alone.

"_No," he could remember himself saying. "I don't have any regrets."_

It was a bold faced lie, but Guy was to drunk to realize it.

"_Eh? Oh…alright then! Another round!"_

Kakashi looked back at the picture. "One regret," he said quietly to the older picture. His eyes focused on the smiling female. "One regret," he repeated. Kakashi sighed. With all his strength and prowess, he still couldn't protect her; the only person who'd ever really tried to love him. It was a horrible and empty feeling to know that with all the love she'd been willing to give, he'd only pushed her away.

Long after Guy had passed out, Kakashi found himself still mulling over the question Guy had asked him. Like a broken record, it repeated incessantly in his head.

Because among the many things that Kakashi had no control over in his life there was one thing he had had control over. There was that one something that he could have changed, and that was her.

Rin had loved him, thought at the time he hardly knew what that word meant much less the implications behind it. He had refused to even acknowledge her much less her love for him. He was cold, he was cruel and then the most uncanny and unexpected thing happened, Rin died.

At first, Kakashi was able to block out the memories. Rin was just another distant figure in his past. Someone who even he could forget but he found that something easier said than done.

Kakashi stood up. This time he managed to stay on his feet, though he did sway slightly. There was something he needed to do, rather someone he needed to see. Kakashi couldn't correct his past. Those pages were stained with blood and regret, however he could stop others from making the same mistakes, and he intended to do just that.

He made his way surprisingly easily across the silent city. The cool night air soothed his mind and created a calmness in his mind that eased his body and soul. When he finally arrived outside Sasuke's window, deciding to forgo the front entrance as he doubted they would feel kindly to his two in morning impromptu visit, he paused for a second to look at the wide awake boy.

Kakashi's eyes took in the face of his brooding dark-haired student noting the faintly registered disapproval on it. Kakashi shook himself, trying to reminding himself that the person before him was his student, not a figure that had any authority over him. Whether he knew it our not, Sasuke had a way of making him (along with several other people) feel like they did something wrong.

A dark head turned and black eyebrows raised definitely at him. "How did you get in here?" The way Sasuke asked that, one would have thought he'd killed someone. Leave it to Sasuke to make everything so dramatic.

"I am a jonin for a reason," Kakashi reminded his young student. Sasuke didn't reply, not that Kakashi expected him to. If there was one thing he'd was sure of it was that Sasuke would never speak unless he was asked or a direct question or had something important to say. This qualified as neither, and so Kakashi spoke instead. "I assume you heard what happened between your brother and I?"

He watched as Sasuke's body visible stiffened and his muscles tightened in what Kakashi assumed was rage. Yes, Kakashi thought as he watched his student, he heard alright. "Yes," he said stiffly, and then he added, "Should you even be up?" Sasuke's question was gruff, but Kakashi caught every underlying meaning in it. Although Sasuke would never ask directly, he was quite sure the boy had been worried about him. Something that Guy had said earlier had alluded to this fact.

Contrary to popular belief, Sasuke did care. In fact, unless Kakashi was very much mistake, Sasuke cared more than most people. That was why he was in a hospital bed after an encounter that was supposed to be Naruto's. From what Guy had told him, Sasuke had heard that he, Kakashi, had been injured in a fight against his brother. By sheer coincidence and someone-yet-to-be-identified's stupidity, he'd overheard that Kakashi's attacker, Sasuke's brother Itachi, had come seeking Naruto.

Sasuke had gone after Itachi and had challenged his brother. And Itachi had broken him, quite literally. If what Kakashi had heard through the grapevine was valid, then Sasuke's brother had literately destroyed the boy's body and after that proceeded to repeat his action on his brother's mind. Kakashi took a shuddering breath as he remembered the torture he'd undergone when Itachi had used his Mangekyo Sharingan on him. He subconsciously clenched his hand as memories of the pain washed over him. To think, Itachi had done that to his own brother, his own flesh and blood. The thought alone made his blood boil.

Kakashi subtly looked at Sasuke. After Tsunade's healing, there wasn't much left that showed the extent of Sasuke's injures, expect his left arm, which was still wrapped in bandages. Kakashi cursed Itachi in everyway he knew. By breaking Sasuke's wrist, Itachi prevented him from attacking with any jutsu. It was a low move, especially to do to someone who was obviously below him. The sensei clenched his hand as rage began filling his body.

Once he calmed himself, he spoke. "I heard that you went after him, Sasuke," Kakashi said, watching his student carefully. As expected Sasuke's eyes grew darker and he nodded. "I also heard what he did to you." This time Sasuke's hands visibly tightened on the pristine white sheets that covered him up to his waist. "I thought I told you that you weren't ready to face him?" Kakashi had told him this, it was true. But he knew that when the time arose he Sasuke wouldn't follow it.

"He was going after Naruto," Sasuke said vehemently, his midnight eyes finally making contact with his teacher's. "I wasn't going to let him get Naruto! I don't care how annoying he is! I'm the only one allow to kill Naruto!"

Kakashi twitched. That wasn't quite the answer he'd expected. But he got the general gist of it. "I see," he responded. "And is that how do you feel about Sakura?"

Now Sasuke grew ridge once more. "Would you protect her too?" Kakashi pressed.

Sasuke didn't answer outright, after a few moments he finally nodded. "Yes," he said solemnly. "I would protect her too."

"But would that protection be that of a friend, a teammate or something more?"

Silence blanketed the room. Kakashi sighed and then heaved himself through the window where he was still perched. Then, moving in a way that should have been impossible in his present state, he came to Sasuke's bed and eased himself on to the end of it. "How do you feel about her, Sasuke?" He asked once more, his tone gentle.

He searched for his student's eyes, but found them firmly fixed on the blanket in front of him, never lingering away from it. Kakashi began prepared himself for a long wait, but found that he didn't have to.

"I don't know how I feel about her."

It didn't answer his question directly, but it was a hell load better than what he expected from his terse student. "I see. Well, you know how she feels about you, right?"

He nodded.

"And you know how Naruto feels about her." Kakashi could tell he struck a chord by the way Sasuke's body grew tense.

"Naruto's an idiot." Kakashi heard Sasuke mumble under his breath.

Kakashi could only smiled. "That may be true, Sasuke, but he also cares about her a great deal. And now as things have come to pass I'm beginning to think she might care about him too." It wasn't actually the truth. Kakashi hadn't witnessed anything monumental that would indicate that Sakura would ever even consider to look at Naruto as a man rather than the immature boy he was. But on a few, abet scarce, occasions he had noticed Sakura's personality become gentler and kinder towards the other boy. It was only a few times, but those few times did warm Kakashi's heart.

On impulse, Kakashi asked, "Have you ever felt anything for Sakura?" Sasuke gave him a dark look, but Kakashi didn't waver. He stared back into those black eyes with determination. For a long time nothing happened, there was no change only a teacher and student having the most intense staring contest over something so trivial, and yet very important. Then one caved.

Sasuke looked away from his teacher. "Maybe I have," he finally consented. "But I can't accept her. Not now, now things must stay as is."

"As is?" Kakashi repeated curiously.

Sasuke nodded. "I plan to find my brother and kill him. Until I accomplish that, no one can get in my way, not even her," Sasuke told his teacher plainly.

Kakashi looked at his student thoughtfully. "You know I used to think that way too. I used to want to avenge my family's name. I wasn't going to let anything stop me from doing so. Not my teammates, nor the girl who loved me more than anything." It was here that Kakashi's voice caught slightly in his throat, yet he pushed on. "What I didn't realize back then was that nothing stays 'as is', Sasuke. Everything is in constant motion and everything changes. I was so caught up in what I thought was my life's course, that I didn't notice her until she was dead at my feet." Kakashi looked at his student to see if was even listening anymore, to his surprise he found captivated eyes watching him.

"Perhaps you don't have to tell Sakura now, Sasuke. But don't make my mistake and make her wait too long. Or else something will snatch her away from you, like death did to …" Kakashi paused. "To … tell her." Kakashi had tried for years to be able to say her name, but for some reason he found it impossible. _Rin, Rin, _his mind chanted, yet his voice could never re-master the name. Kakashi sighed softly and heaved himself off of Sasuke's bed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and find somewhere that I can get a decent meal at this hour."

He had just reached the window that he had used as his entrance when he heard a few brief words from his student. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei." At first he thought he had imagined them, until he turned to find Sasuke watching him, the emotion of his words shining in the young student's eyes.

Kakashi smiled, "My pleasure." Then he exited the hospital room and dropped down the streets below. There he wandered the streets until he found an open ramen stand, one of the ones that Naruto frequented often. There Kakashi ate and reminisced on a certain girl and his own 'as is' time.

Perhaps Sasuke would never tell Sakura how he truly felt about her. Perhaps, Naruto would beat him to it, maybe even Sakura would reject them both. He didn't know and couldn't decide. He was only the mentor, the one meant to guide and direct his students. As much as he wanted to tell them what they should or shouldn't do, he couldn't. As the Fourth did with him and Rin, he too would have to be the silent audience for his students. He only hoped that he would be the one who got to witness the pieces fall into the correct places. He hoped that like his two pictures that, though they were similar, were different and that this difference would lead to a happier ending. He hoped that Sasuke could correct his wrongs.

Yet Kakashi would never truly know. So he sat at the Ramen stand long into the night. Thinking of what might have been and of what was. When dawn was about to break, he paid for his meal and left to go the shrine, just like he did everyone morning. The shrine was his life now, honoring those who were on it was his duty – it was his as is and that was one thing that would never change.

Okay so I started watching this anime and loved it. So here is my attempt at a Kakashi as a 'good' mentor story. Hope you guys like it, and even if you didn't, give me some feedback and let me know if I should do a continuation.

Thanks!

Kuramagal


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